


you're already the voice inside my head

by toopunkforyou



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mild Smut, My First AO3 Post, by mild i mean hardly any, side malum, yeah enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 15:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2353334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toopunkforyou/pseuds/toopunkforyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton lives in a world where who you will spend the rest of your life with is preordained. Humans who are meant to be with one another experience telepathic connections from the age of 16 regularly in their life until the day they meet</p><p>Soulmate AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're already the voice inside my head

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post on this site or anywhere in fact. It's a lot longer than I actually meant for it to be.  
> Also a big thank you to lucasfletcher who was my beta for this and also wrote the lovely ending but any mistakes left in there are still mine

Soul mate. 

“In ‘The Symposium’ by Plato, Aristophanes presents a story about soul mates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. It is said that humans had great strength at the time and threatened to conquer the gods. The gods were then faced with the prospect of destroying the humans with lightning as they had done with the Titans but then they would lose the tributes given to the gods by humans. Zeus developed a creative solution by splitting humans in half as punishment for humanity's pride and doubling the number of humans who would give tribute to the gods. These split humans were in utter misery to the point where they would not eat and would perish so Apollo had sewn them up and reconstituted their bodies with the navel being the only remnant harkening back to their original form. Each human would then forever long for the other half of his/her soul. It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lie with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.” 

~ 

Ashton Irwin didn't want to face the possibility of not finding his soul mate. In other words, he was scared shitless. 

It was the eve of his sixteenth birthday. In just a few minutes he was about to discover his destiny. Humans, who are meant to be with one another, experience telepathic connections from the age of 16 regularly in their life. The day fate brings them together the connection is broken. 

Those who don’t find their soul mate have two options: to either spend an eternity longing for someone you know you are unable to have or find another person with a missing link in their life and hope you'd able to find some sense of purpose in the world. At least that's what they told him all his life. 

The world was asleep and Ashton's mind was left to wonder what would really happen if he didn’t find a soul mate. His friends, Tom and Bethany shared their link, which only made sense, because the two had been almost inseparable since Bethany transferred to their school three months ago. He felt a bit jealous, since you usually don't meet your soul mate that easily and they had been basically already dating before. 

His mother had told him there was nothing to worry about, but that was easy for her to say since her soul mate was her high school sweetheart. 

He never wanted to face the world alone, Ashton didn’t want to have to do it by himself. He wanted someone to be there and hold him close when times were tough and tell him that everything was going to be alright even if they were faced with the possible destruction of this world (which may be unlikely but… details). 

The silence surrounding him was almost deafening as he watched the clock count down the seconds to his birthday. He was unable to tear his eyes away from the minute hand that was almost taunting him at the pace it moved. This was as bad as torture, Ashton decided (he might have been over-reacting, but it didn’t cross his mind at the time), because this was what would essentially make or break him. 

Ashton pried his eyes away from the clock. He remembered his mother saying something stupid about time going faster if he didn’t watch the clock. The idea might have been childish but Ashton needed something comforting to turn to. So he turned to face his bedroom window and stare out into the night. The world was unnaturally still. There was not a breeze winding its way through the streets nor an animal scurrying into the shadows of the woods. The sky was clear and even the stars were dull and lifeless. 

Ashton wondered what his soul mate would look like. He had always liked blonde hair, preferably lighter than his own honey coloured locks. He wouldn’t mind what their eye colour was, though he had always been drawn to the icy blue coloured orbs of the girl who sat beside him in maths. And gender, Ashton wouldn’t mind their gender, he had always been a curious child, and when he drunkenly kissed his friend Pete at a party during a game of spin the bottle, he had found out he actually quite liked the idea of dating a boy. 

But frankly, he knew that he would love them no matter how they looked. 

Ashton took the time to look around his room. Remember every inch of it because in this moment it felt as if things were never going to be the same. Of course, he was over reacting but that didn’t stop him from looking at the poorly constructed desk he and his mum assembled together, to the hamper of clothes sitting in the corner of his room behind his drum set. 

_Two minutes._

His breaths came out short as the panic nestled itself in his veins, crawling along his skin and alerting all his senses to point he was hyperaware of everything surrounding him. The once quiet felt too loud and _no, no,_ he changed his mind, he didn't want to do it anymore. Ashton wanted the time to stop, but the clock moved forward steadily. 

_One minute._

This was it. 

He inhaled and exhaled, closing his eyes and counting down the seconds in his head, ensuring his breaths matched. 

_Three, Two, One…_

And so he waited. 

Nothing happened. No grand explosions or confetti falling from the sky in celebration. No dancers emerging from behind his furniture to set party poppers and yell ‘Surprise!’ Nothing but an unwelcoming silence. And Ashton didn’t even know how he was supposed to communicate with the other person. His other person. His missing piece puzzle. 

He vaguely remembered Tom saying something about it being just like talking to someone else inside your head, frankly, it sounded ridiculous at the time, but _what the hell_ , it was worth a try. 

‘Hello?’ 

No reply. Wow, maybe his soul mate wasn’t much of a talker. Maybe they were surprised. 

‘Hey, anyone there?’ Ashton tried once again. 

And once again he found there was no reply and instead of freaking out in that moment he was calm and decided it was best not creep the other person out if they were there. It was possible his soul mate wasn’t half as crazy as him and waited all night till their birthday. Either way, the caffeine he had consumed in large quantities throughout the evening was now catching up with him. 

~ 

The realisation that he was alone hit Ashton like a train. With relentless full force and at a high speed. After that night, he tried multiple times to contacts his soul mate. Of course, each time he failed. His family and friends were a constant reminder of his loss. Everywhere he turned, there was love in the air. It was either news of his friends discovering their link with their soul mates or the love he saw pouring out his parent’s eyes. It was suffocating him, like someone was smothering him with a pillow made from all the love and affection in the world. 

And it made Ashton feel sick. So sick that he found himself looking for distraction. There were dates here and there – with both boys and girls. He had more dates than he was able to count on both hands, all in hope of meeting his soul mate. But nothing made him feel what his mum had described to him when he was little. 

“It’s complicated Ash, but you’ll know. When you hear them talk for the first time, it’s like having your ear drums explode because everything feels complete.” 

Clearly his mum didn’t want to confuse little 7 year old Ashton, because she didn’t mention the possibility of not ever finding that person to make you feel so. But it felt like he was wandering aimlessly on a misty day, travelling on a narrow road, looking for a certain destination. Or like looking for that final puzzle piece, that you just can’t find, even when you turn everything in your house upside down. 

Quite frankly, Ashton was more upset than anything. How cliché, right? But how could you not be, having the person you were supposedly destined to be with giving up on you the instance you tried, or worse – not existing at all. 

Having to live with the fact that there is someone out there who is meant to send your head spinning and stomach churning but never getting the chance to even hear them. And Ashton can’t believe he thought waiting for sixteenth birthday was torture, he was way out of his mind because this was by far the worst torture he had experienced in his life. 

Ashton wanted nothing more to escape. And so it started with a job. The shitty video store down the road was looking for employees and he jumped at the opportunity. He had been doing everything in his power to earn some cash. Every day he stood behind the counter of the store, tapping away at the dusty surface whilst estimating how much longer he’d have to work here to finally get a place of his own with his friend Michael. 

Every day, precisely between 12:30 and 13:00, the doors swung open and the annoying 8-bit converted bell started ringing throughout the shop. Every day without fail, Michael walked into the store, McDonalds in hand. 

“It takes every ounce of self-control within me to not pull out the bat in the boot of my car and beat the shit outta that thing.” 

“Why have you got a bat in your car?” Ashton replied flatly, grabbing the bag out of Michael’s hand. 

“Why haven’t you got a bat in your car?” Michael accused 

This was how they spent most of their days. Michael worked a shift at McDonald’s so they were both able split the share of the apartment between them, after his shift he brought food for Ashton and they discussed their miserable lives. Michael had not met his soul mate either, and both boys found comfort in each other’s presence, knowing there was someone else going through the same whirlwind of emotions. 

~ 

A week before his birthday Ashton moved out to live with Michael. It was super impulsive and he may have made his mum cry, _but_. She was planning to throw a huge party with all his family and friends; and just the words ‘friends’ and ‘family’ were enough for Ashton to jump off the couch in the living area and sprint towards the door. The minute he made it on to the street, he whipped out his phone and called Michael. Then he sneaked back in to grab his things and Michael helped him with loading them into his car. 

And that’s how he found himself in a practically empty flat, surrounded by unopened boxes. Michael was out “buying furniture”, which he had supposedly been doing for the past two days, but Ashton had his suspicions. Michael was _a)_ secretly involved in a drug circle gang (explains the tattoos and piercings), _b)_ plotting Ashton’s death. Or by far the most probable option - he was chatting up the cute Asian kid who worked in the cheap furniture shop. 

Either way Ashton enjoyed the small peace the filled the compact apartment. He stared out at the window as he clanked the spoon against the empty bowl lost in thought. It was his 18th birthday in two days. Two years since he was destined to a life of loneliness. 

And yeah, he was surrounded by people for most of the day, but times like this allowed him to think about how lonely he actually felt. He felt so unworthy some days. Because he didn’t have the connection that tied him to someone. Someone to run their fingers through his hair, someone draw funny patterns on his skin, someone to nuzzle their face into his neck. 

That’s all he wanted. Michael was occasionally a good enough substitute, satisfying their need for cuddles, but his heart longed and screamed for more than Michael was ever able to provide. 

And so Ashton did what felt right. He grabbed a half-empty bottle of old aged whiskey Michael smuggled from his parents’ house, and drank his worries away. 

~ 

On the eve of his 18th birthday, Ashton was up again. The same type of strong coffee flowing through his veins, leaving his heartbeat unsteady. So here he was again, praying for some sort of miracle. That maybe after two years of waiting whatever omnipotent being was responsible for the pairing of humans finally heard his drunken prayers. 

Either way, Ashton prayed. To what he does not know but he’s sure he covered every deity out there. And so the waiting game began. 

It had been another 3 hours until the clock ticked down to midnight. Minutes were left and Ashton substituted the strong coffee for a stronger alcohol. The taste made him sick, his senses were flooded and although he wasn’t so alert of his body schema, he was incredibly aware of the raw emotion pumping through his blood. 

The clock hit midnight and it was as if everything fell through the net Ashton was trying so hard to keep intact. He broke down, throwing the now empty bottle of cheap drink against the wall. His body was unable to hold his weight and his knees collapsed underneath him. And for the first time in a while, Ashton let the tears flow, because not even the repetitive smashing of his hand against the glass on the floor hurt more than this. A sob ripped from his throat just as the door swung open. 

“Ashton, what the fuck?” Michael shouted, flicking on the lights. 

“C’mon mate, let’s get you up.” 

Michael was not flustered about this because even though he hated to admit it sometimes, Ashton had seen him at his lowest, too. Well, before he had found that new friend. 

So he sat Ashton down at the pristine kitchen island they had yet to touch and pulled out the first aid kit. 

He carefully cleaned the cuts, watching Ashton’s face for any sign of pain, but Ashton felt too numb. His whole body had been electrified with emotion and there was no longer anything for him to convey. 

After bandaging the cuts, he pulled Ashton in for a hug. 

“You climb into my bed, whilst I clean up the glass.” 

Ashton refused to make eye contact and simply nodded at the command. 

Whilst Michael cleaned the mess he had caused, Ashton lay in Michael’s bed trying to ignore the guilt that panged at his chest. 

As soon as Michael was finished, he joined Ashton and wrapped the blanket firmly around both of them, while pulling Ashton closer, so that his back was against Michael’s chest 

“Stop feeling guilty.” Was the last thing Ashton heard before he succumbed to the darkness of sleep. 

Ashton managed to isolate himself. He was constantly cooped up in his bedroom watching terrible rom-coms and crying himself to sleep. It was like that night was his breaking point. Like he couldn't continue anymore. 

Michael had explained to Ashton’s manager why he was unable to come in for work (leaving out the unnecessary details), but simply said Ashton had cut his hand. 

But it has been eight days since the incident when Michael suggested that tonight was the night for Ashton to meet his soul mate 

Yeah. Soul mate. 

Michael had recently discovered his connection with none other than the apparently not-Asian kid from the furniture shop. So tonight he was to be dragged out to the bar two blocks away and return to work tomorrow. Great plan. 

But as much as Ashton knew he should decline the offer, because of work tomorrow, it was something he needed. A little bit of relief. He hadn’t been on a date in months, nor had he had a one night stand. For Christ’s sake he hadn’t even gotten off in a good month. 

So he agreed. 

Show up, get plastered and get laid. 

~ 

But of course nothing goes as planned for Ashton. 

He met this not Asian kid who was apparently Kiwi and named Calum. He was nice, but loved up couples were the reason he moved out in the first place. 

So he found himself at the bar, downing shot number six as just as a girl waltzed up to him. She was okay. Okay for a decent one night stand. He ordered her a drink. After shot number “whatever” made its way down Ashton’s throat (probably carving a path in his throat from the burn) he was pulled onto the floor by the girl. 

They danced. Your typical club kind of dance. Grinding, nothing but grinding and Ashton could feel himself getting hotter, but he wasn’t sure whether it was because this girl had her ass unbelievably close to his crotch, or the fact that it felt like the entire room was set ablaze. Either way, Ashton had to excuse himself to the toilets. 

His breaths were coming out short and he was practically fighting to pull a breath back in. 

And that’s when it happened. 

To be quite honest nothing could be compared to it without sounding horrifically cliché. Because it felt like everything had finally fell into place and his ear drums could burst from pure relief. Well at least that’s what it felt like for a couple of seconds, because this was not a girl, it was a boy. 

_‘Hello’_

Ashton almost came in his pants just from the sound. 

_‘Okay I know this is weird but you kind of have to speak to me’_

Ashton was out the crowded bar faster than lightning, well not quite but probably as fast lightning would be able to move if it had to escape the grinding bodies surrounding him. 

He did not reply. Instead he hailed the closest taxi and tried to escape the firm grasp his anxiety held over his chest. 

He made it to the apartment safely and after a quick shower (totally not getting off to the beautiful sleep laced raspy tone he had the pleasure of listening to) he sent a text to Michael and climbed into bed. 

And if he cried himself to sleep, he wouldn’t even remember in the morning 

~ 

Soon after incident #2 as Michael referred to it now, (and no not ‘number 2’ but ‘hashtag 2’) Ashton confided in Michael about hearing his soul mate. 

“It’s a guy,” was all he said the next morning at breakfast. 

“Look mate, it’s too early for this, I know you’re a guy. I mean I’ve seen your ding-dong too many times already.” 

“Michael! NO! My soul mate, he’s a guy. He spoke to me while I was in the bar last night and I freaked out! And guess what I did? I ignored him like the piece of shit I am.” 

Ashton was now standing up, arms flailing wildly while Michael just stared 

“And the worst part is I know exactly how he’ll be feeling right now! I’m letting the person I’m destined to be with, my other half, my _everything_ go through exactly what I had to two years ago! And don’t go telling me to calm down because…I-I…” Ashton trailed off 

Michael slowly rose from his chair not wanting to startle Ashton who was now pacing around the apartment preoccupied in his own thoughts 

“Ash…” 

Ashton turned to face Michael. And the look on his face said it all. He broke down. 

Michael was there to catch him, he always was and as Ashton’s legs were no longer able to bear his weight, he fell into Michael’s arms. 

“Shhh…,” Michael cooed as a loud sob escaped Ashton. 

He rubbed circled on his back and let Ashton’s tears wet his shirt. 

~ 

That’s how they spent the rest of the day. Ashton’s face constantly pressed against Michael’s neck, as they watched films on the shitty couch. 

In fact, that’s how they spend the entire week. Ashton once again excused himself from work on the basis that a close relative died. Yeah it was a bad thing to lie, but his mum had called recently informing him of the death of his pet rabbit so Ashton deemed it was close enough. Not only that, but technically a part of him had died, or maybe he was dead in their mind. Would his soul mate ever talk to him again? 

This time Ashton confided in Michael’s boyfriend whilst Michael was preparing them soup in the kitchen. 

“Hey Cal, did you always know you were gay or bisexual or whatever…?” 

“Pansexual and no, why…?” Calum replied not pealing his eyes away from the screen. 

“Oh…Well I think I’m-.. No I know I’m bisexual but I’ve always had a preference for girls but my soul mate’s a guy and…” 

“Well, have you spoken to him yet?” Calum interrupted looking away from the screen for no more than two seconds to send him an accusing look. 

“Not exactly…” Ashton confessed. 

“Maybe you should try that first,” snorted Cal, patting Ashton’s leg before returning his eyes to the TV. 

For some reason, Calum’s words kind of hurt and to be quite honest, in that moment, Ashton realised how much of an idiot he was being, so he immediately got up tossing the blanket aside ignoring the whine of protest from Calum. 

So he wasn’t exactly sure how to do this but it was worth a try. 

_‘Hello?’_

There wasn’t a reply and Ashton was far from surprised 

_‘Look I completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me but I need this because I’ve been waiting too long and –‘_

_‘Slow down mate, I’m in the middle of a test and I can’t concentrate if you keep talking’_ came the quiet voice. 

_‘Oh’_ was all Ashton was able to say before he was cut off. 

_‘Okay’_

Ashton was unable to form coherent sentences, even out loud. 

So instead he crawled into his bed and slept for hours, days maybe. 

~ 

Ashton was back at work, long hours at the shitty video store, tapping away. 

His soul mate hadn’t spoken to him since his apparent ‘test’ and it was heart breaking, but he didn’t expect anything else. 

Once again, his mind was preoccupied with thoughts, as he tapped away on any available surface. The store was going through a restock and as his manager and co-worker brought in orders from the truck parked outside, he dealt with customers (although there were no customers in sight, but he was not about to volunteer for heavy labour). 

After about 2 hours of watching strangers walk in and glance at the poor selection of DVD’s and CD’s to then only walk back out, Ashton decided it was time for a break. He made his way down the streets to the furniture shop, that he remembered being close by. From there he cut through a park. Michael wasn’t too clear on the directions he sent through text. The park was empty during this time of day so Ashton slowed down to take some time to clear his head. 

He hadn’t had a breakdown since the last one yet, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t on the brink of one. The words ‘failure’ and ‘pathetic’ were on a constant loop in his head. He was unable to concentrate on anything but the soft voice he heard, but the memory was swiftly fading and Ashton didn’t want to think about what he’d do when the time came. 

He made it to the furniture store in record time. 

Only to be met with a horrible sight. 

Michael was in between Calum’s legs, their hips moving together and moans escaped Calum, as they kissed feverishly. 

“Oh my god! My poor eyes! You two need Jesus! There are costumers walking past this window, no one wants see you two grinding on each other!” 

Michael and Calum sprung apart, Calum tumbled to the ground trying the fix shirt. 

“ASHTON WHAT THE FUCK!?” 

~ 

Once Michael and Calum had fixed their problem, they ate together in silence, sitting in one of the booths of the restaurant across the street. This wasn’t the first time Ashton had caught them and it always made for awkward lunch times. Most of all it left Ash to think about his non-existent love life. 

Before his thoughts got too depressing he excused himself and walked back to the video store. His shift was ending in about 5 minutes and so far the only customers had been one man looking for My Little Pony DVD’s for his daughter and a lesbian couple who brought three vinyls. 

Ashton could feel himself hanging on a sliver of hope and it was quickly burning from the fire that is life. 

And just as the word ‘fire’ crossed his mind the room temperature shot up. Or maybe it was just him. He felt the sweat pool in the frown lines that had formed on his face. His breaths were growing short and he was pretty sure his face was turning purple from the lack of oxygen to his lungs. 

The stupid bell rang signifying a customer had entered and Ashton was pretty sure this stranger was about to watch him collapse. His grip on the counter grew tighter, leaving his knuckles white. If his heart beat any faster in would be springing out his chest anytime soon. He aimed his focus on the stranger because god forbid this person stole something whilst Ashton was mid panic attack, he would totally lose his job. 

And it was a damn good thing Ashton looked up because this guy was staring him right in the face. 

He had the iciest blue eyes Ashton had ever come across framed by a darker hue of blue, eyes that possessed the ability to draw you to their source in an instance. His hair was perfectly styled into one of those messy quiffs Ashton could not get enough of and the shirt he wore was tight across his well-proportioned torso (not to mention it was a Green Day shirt and that alone made Ashton want to drop his pants for this stranger). 

“Are you alright?” 

And to top it all off. 

It was him. 

It was the voice inside his head. 

So of course in this situation Ashton just gaped at the guy. Blondie (as Ashton had officially dubbed him) looked slightly terrified. He was unable to string any words together because the knot in his heart was expanding at a rapid pace. He stood with his mouth opening and closing like a fish. 

“Umm...” 

Just the sound made Ashton mentally squeal, and it was almost like a release. It felt as if nothing happened. Nothing happened, but at the same time grand explosions filled his view and confetti fell from the sky in celebration. Dancers emerging from behind the rows of DVD’s and CD’s to set off party poppers and yell ‘Surprise!’ Of course there was nothing, nothing, but a well welcomed silence that Ashton had grown accustomed to. And once again, Ashton didn’t even know how he was supposed to communicate with the other person. His other person. His missing piece puzzle. 

“Hi,” was all he managed to squeak out. 

But it didn’t matter because he witnessed the realisation and surprise that crossed this stranger’s face. He hoped and prayed they were feeling the exact same thing he was. 

“Hi,” Blondie whispered, a grin slowly making its way on to his face. 

“Ashton! Get back to work!” he heard 

Ashton rolled his eyes and put on his best work face. 

“How can I help?” 

“It’s really you,” Blondie sputtered. “Oh my god it’s you, you’re real. I’m so sorry I ignored. It’s just I though you didn’t exist, it was too much of a shock and you’re here…and I can’t breathe…” 

“Whoa, slow down Blondie!” Ashton was unsure where this burst of confidence came from but he felt at ease with this guy. It was like the planets had finally aligned. “Let’s get you out of here, yeah?” 

“Wait what..? Blondie blurted. 

It was the end of his shift. 

“See ya tomorrow Ms. P!” Ash called hopping over the counter and grabbing Blondie’s hand 

They made out the store before he heard any arguments from Ms. P, his manager. 

“So Blondie, what’s your name?” 

“Luke, Luke Hemmings.” 

“Well Luke, I’m Ashton and we're getting a coffee..." he glanced at the imaginary pair of watch on his left arm, "just about now." 

~ 

Ashton was sat on the couch in the apartment he had bought with Michael two years ago. Today marked the day Luke officially moved in, even though it felt like he already lived here. His bags and boxes were piled against the door. They didn't bother with unpacking the stuff. They had time. 

The whistle from the kettle rang through the apartment. Ashton thought about the way it used to be, how a year ago Michael packed his bags saying he was sick of all the lovey-dovey shit and moved in with Not Asian Calum. So it was just him and Luke. They spent every day together in the little apartment and soon enough it was as if Luke lived there. But they were making it official today. 

“Here you go Ash,” he could hear the sheer contentment in Luke’s voice, as he breathed out the words, handing him his tea. 

“Thanks Blondie.” 

The nickname had somehow stuck. 

Ash cuddled up against Luke, as he threw the blanket that was discarded on the floor from their previous movie night over the two of them. 

Ashton hummed as Luke’s feathery hair tickled his neck whilst Luke tried to get closer, close enough to plant a kiss, and then a few more, just because. 

“I love you,” he whispered against Ashton's lips, between the soft breaths shared between the two mouths. 

“I love you too, Blondie, you have no idea.” 

Ash always wanted to be with Luke and when he wasn't, he was thinking about being with Luke, because he needed him more than he needed the air that kept him alive; and without Luke, he felt incomplete. He finally understood the concept he was always so jealous of. The need to touch, to be with your soul mate, _all the time._

Luke was the last thing he thought of before he went to sleep – and he was the first thought on his mind when he woke up. When he was with Luke, his heart began to flutter in the cage that was his chest, like a trapped bird. When they touched, Ashton got butterflies that seemed to crawl up his throat and rob him of his words. When they kissed, it took his breath away, but in the good way. In the way that left your heart pounding in your ears and your lungs gasping for air but everything felt like it was going to explode from the love and affection. 

His love for Luke was endless and he wanted nothing more to show him, every minute of the day. 

“Let’s celebrate,” said Ashton, Luke halfway to his lap and their tea long forgotten on the coffee table. 

“Celebrate what?” 

“Our first night together in _our_ flat,” grinned Ashton, pulling the other boy so he was fully seated in his lap, holding tightly onto his waist. 

“But I’ve basically lived here already. There’s no need to celebrate,” Luke left few kisses against Ashton’s neck, making him squirm from the tickling sensation. 

“Not officially. And by celebrate I meant I want us to have sex on every single surface of _our_ flat.” 

Luke’s cheeks tinged pink and he pushed his face even further into Ashton’s neck. “We can already cross at least half of them off.” 

Instead of answering, Ashton pushed Luke onto the ground, following shortly behind. He hovered over Luke, watching as his pupils almost swallowed the blue of his eyes, widening. Luke blinked slowly, his fair eyelashes brushing over his cheeks. Ashton put his weight on his elbows, just so he could caress his cheekbones with his thumbs, feeling the fuzz of Luke’s stubble and the soft skin under. His world was spinning. 

And it kept spinning, as he took in every detail of Luke’s face, the cherry red of his parted lips and the cutest button nose ever and also the laugh lines and birthmarks and the pimple in the middle of his forehead. His porcelain skin was slowly flushing under all the attention, and his eyes fluttered closed as Ashton left a kiss in the corner of his mouth. He then swiped his thumb over Luke’s bottom lip, pushing it open and then pressing another kiss to his chin. 

He felt the stubble under his lips, as he softly moved them over his jaw, just a ghost of a touch. He was so _fond_ of the boy, his boy, he could burst. He could feel it deep in his bones, filling him up and it was like he was breathing it all out, trying to make Luke understand just with his touches. 

When he finally pressed their lips together, they tingled. Slick tongues created a burning sensation somewhere deep in Ashton’s body, and he sucked harshly on Luke’s lips and tongue. He clanked their teeth together, but he didn’t care, he just _wanted._ He wanted all of Luke. 

Luke’s hand pushed against the small of his back, bringing him down, so they were pressed flush together. The hard lines of their clothes pressed into Ashton’s skin and so he tried to pull off his t-shirt, then sat up, so Luke could do the same. 

Then it was skin on skin, and Ashton felt hot all over. They had done this million times before, but every time it was still _so_ overwhelming. The feel of Luke’s soft skin brushing against his own made his heart jump and speed up, until he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.  
  


He also tried to listen to the sounds Luke made, all the different sighs and moans and whines, and Ashton loved it so goddamn much. It was music to his ears. 

The pink flush was slowly spreading across Luke’s chest, around the red of his nipples and Ashton shimmered down and took one of the little nubs in his mouth, while glancing up at Luke. The other boy let out a breathy sigh and arched his hips up. He devoured Luke’s chest and the taut lines of his stomach, touching and caressing the delicate skin everywhere. 

After they took off their pants, it was all one big blur for Ashton. He focused mainly on the sounds escaping from Luke’s parted lips, but also the moans his own mouth made, letting Luke know just how much he enjoyed it. 

Sometime between the kisses and all the skin and breathing and biting, Ashton’s breath hitched in his throat. He saw Luke writhing underneath him, urging him to move, but his vision cleared for a second and his heart made a wild leap in his chest. Curling one hand into Luke’s sweaty hair and pressing the nails of the other one into Luke’s hip, he felt whole. 

There was this one moment, when they just looked at each other, both absorbed in their own pleasure, but somehow, they felt it together. They whispered countless _I love you’s_ and Ashton had trouble breathing. 

Luke was all he could see and he never wanted to look at anything different again. Luke was just… _it._

Ashton’s world stopped spinning. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, kudos and comments are appreciated (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> tumblr: ohwhateveruniverse  
> twitter : @toopunkforyouu


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